Friday, May 1, 2009


Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop. - Grey

What does one do when life thrives around drama and uncertainty? Our life, is just a mere dream, one from which we never wake up? Is there any significance of my life in a Universe of billions of stars that constantly ignore us? Is there any significance for life in a Universe whose dimensions and nature overcome our understanding? Hoping not to sound like a drama queen, I usually whine about the happenings in my life (on a daily basis) and even though I’m constantly told I ignore the fact, that I am the cause of these incidents. I guess the pain and mental trauma that I go through each and every time is now enjoyable. May be I thrive on drama, this all seems really superficial, and I’d like to believe that this is a phase “an interval of sorrow between two intervals of happiness”. The hunger for power is merely not being something or having a justified ego but emerging and effecting. Power and dominance is the essence of my life. Attaining power may include producing pleasure or inflicting pain (even on ourselves). Nietzsche , one of my favorite philosophers says, those who exert pain at an unconscious level are truly the one's deficient in power. This lack of power, and its subconscious realization, is very dangerous because it can easily be satisfied with a physical or verbal exertion. In consequence creating pain and inviting revenge. in my opinion, inflicting pain is much more of an efficient means of usurping and preserving power rather than the imprint of compassion, but those that choose pain are truly internally weak - having low self-esteem. In the end, one has to choose whether to live his or her life either in a slow and assured temperament, or with sudden and dangerous methods of increasing and fulfilling the need for power.

Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional (a Tibetan monk). There is rarely such thing as unavoidable suffering. Suffering is caused by thoughts and thoughts can change. Practice is more difficult than theory because it's a reality that an ideal environment produces ideal thoughts. What does not kill me only makes me stronger? Probably, but scar you for life in the process. I believe that the pain of existence is something that should be embraced on aesthetic grounds. Pain for me may be a means to becoming stronger and more powerful, and that the more I tried to conquer pain, the more I am fulfilling the central driving force of all life, which is Power. Linking power and pain may not make so much sense now, pain is more than just physical pain, and pain is a state in which you realize your limits.
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