Thursday, June 17, 2010

Hormonal Emotions/ Lunches

Life is a continuous learning experience; it’s not about the books the degrees and certificates that matter, its how much you learn about yourself. In the past few days I’ve learnt a lot about myself, I am an ignorant self obsessed fool to begin with. There are certain things I plan out in my head but they turn out quite the opposite. I guess that happens with a lot of people, but back to me and my whining. I’ll talk about two incidents independent of each other that pissed the shit out of me recently.

Part 1:
Some people are weird, nice but weird, their sources are unreliable but their information is fascinating. Things set into their brains a day late, either your slow or somebody opened their mouth by mistake, either way my intentions weren’t bad, just tried to keep you away from some minor heartaches. See the thing is that I’ve become a universal punch bag; I have to hear everything, your messages, you over excitement on random bits of information and gossip. So I joke, that’s my way of dealing with things, if I’m doing anything unintentionally don’t screw me for it was unintentional after all. Having a tough time coming to terms with how nice I am? Can’t blame you now can I…

Part 2:
Who ever knew lunches could be that exciting I mean you have to hear when you don’t go for some and you get to dish out some when someone does. I’ve never stopped anyone from doing what they want I’ve just made my preferences rather clear. Looking back, friends, lovers and their feelings for you stop at a certain point. When will u get it that just saying things is not enough if you mean it you have to go all the way. One thing I learned in a relationship is that friends are friends but your partner always comes first... always... and it didn’t happen in our case anyway... what I feel I make quite public... I’ve not had a good birthday in years now, don’t think I will have a good one anytime soon, but it’s a new start for me. I’m willing to let you go... if you want to stay... you have to actually STAY.

I’m not having the best week of my life, wait a minute not really having the best year, but I don’t expect anyone to understand, you for one can go for your dances and parties, while you on the other hand can go for your lunches and concerts. My point being, unloading random bursts of emotion on me whenever you feel like or praise me in a small excerpt in your inbox is something i dispise. So you have feelings, I respect that, but if you’ve known me and my life just a lil, you will know life is such a bitch. In spite of all that you get your fair share of enjoyment, I’m sorry but leave me out of it.

“Half of life is fucking up the other half is dealing with it.”
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