Friday, February 4, 2011

Dirty Needles... Day 1

I don’t really know what the deal is with people and their sense to belong to a group or the need of intimacy. When being solitary is one of the true blessings you may have ... as time passes I realize the individuals I lose in life only make me stronger. So what if individuals are driven by stupidity and misplaced compassion, and I shouldn’t be bothered by it, but it does bother me. You keep people in such high regard, assign them such an important place in your, just to be tethered into grains of sand that will be lost forever.

An easy way out of this muck is to tell the truth and live on sympathy of the world for the rest of my life, but I choose otherwise. I walk the path that is lonesome and well quite unrewarding. These feelings sometimes I can’t decipher, why do I have them? Are they legitimate or not? Should I break away now or wait for nature to take its course. Why is it that life has bought me at the same place I ran away form so long.

I wish life was easy as popping pills, or pleasing the world my throwing a simple party, but I’ve come to realize it takes a special kind of coward to end your own misery by taking a pill, while you inflict the pain of the world on someone else. And most importantly you need friends to party, a luxury I will never have. But the road to a healthy body is a lonesome one. Life is really unpredictable, achieving all you dreamt of may not be possible, at least try to leave a mark...

The end is near, it feels exactly the same like it felt before, the pain is excruciating... like living in a loveless marriage.
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