Thanatos

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.

Friedrich Nietzsche

We practice deception all the time; we all are in love with the idea of love but no one ever contemplates the end, because we believe the love we have is everlasting. No one discusses the pain and discomfort that may arise from the inconsistencies in mindset and culture. Which is why sometimes, it takes us a while to realize that the truth has been in front of us the whole time. One needs to understand that even a relationship is a competition, where management of feelings and expectations are equally important. Adapt or die. Adapting isn't easy, though. You have to fight your competition, fend off their attacks, and sometimes, you have to kill. You do what you need to do to survive.

The base of most relationships tends to be fear. For the weaker ones the fear of losing someone and for the stronger ones the fear of never working out, either case needs both partners to accommodate the shortcomings of the other.

Things have been on a bit of a roller coaster since I last wrote. Everything had been starting to get better since i adopted a better lifestyle and I was starting to feel physically stronger. Then a few months ago the pain came back and it's been getting worse ever since. The uncertainty is usually a killer and main management in the midst of a psychological turmoil is just a bit difficult.

I've realized there is no point arguing with someone who thinks they can do no wrong, the age old questions how can some do so much bad and still be happy, but the good thing is that i have faith on my side. I know the tests get harder each day, but i hope things will get better. To really be efficient, you have to eliminate what doesn't work. You have to figure out what is important and hold on tight to the things that matter most. They say ignorance is bliss because once you know about the prognosis, you can't go back. Will you be strong or will you fall apart? It's hard to predict so don’t worry about it. Enjoy the time you have before the news comes. Yep, ignorance is bliss