Divine Comedy

Oh come on, you know me better than that. That title is just really catchy, so I had to use something that will catch your attention. It’s just my way of making you want to click the link…

In the midst of massive instability I was told that a content life was a life that has peace in it. I obviously like most times disagree with that notion; I think peace is subjective to a person’s needs, perception and ambitions. I’ve reviewed the literature on positive psychology, some metaphysics and a lot of self help but the fact remains when your dealt a sorry hand you need to find a way to deal with it.

Every day I learn something new, something new about the world, something new about people and something new about myself. Obviously I was just trying to sound philosophical, learning stuff doesn’t change your destiny. Doing stuff changes life. Yes I maybe negative, highly unstable, but I’m trying 

The Veiled Sphinx

It feels like one of those days when things are just not going your way, the problem is that I have had those days every day for the past year or so. It feels like everyone is out to get you, but obviously that isn’t true since you aren’t that special. I always thought I was right, but 30 years into existence you realize everything was a lie. This might even be a midlife crisis, but the line is thin, and time is short.

Many people struggle with finding their purpose in life; it’s more common than you think. The chances are you are probably living someone else’s life or fulfilling someone’s wishes other than your own. When people lose hope, they put their trust in things which are nothing but self fulfilling prophecies like the Greek drama Oedipus Rex thus the theory Oedipal Complex.

If you are dealing with some sort of mental illness, be assured you will have to do it alone. I might seem idle, but in reality I’m really busy in my head. People would generally advise you to cheer up or stay positive. But in reality the positivism is just to mask those actions that have done others wrong. Just because you have justified it in your head doesn’t mean its right. The worth you have assigned to others is usually the incompetence you are trying to hide yourself. But hey, whatever works right.

Giving charity from robbing the right of others hardly seems fair, morality doesn’t come from religion but from within. The simple lessons I’ve learnt in life is, money isn’t everything (but usually the cause of stress and anxiety) and it's okay to have some fun once in a while. 

Biocenosis

We usually tend to look for big signs; we expect the mystery of life to be communicated in grandeur. And it’s because of this expectation we miss out the subtle signs which describe the magnificence yet simplicity of the gifts life has to offer.


1) Timing: the seasons teach us that there is a time for everything, what goes around, comes around, it teaches us patients. The good things in life come from self discovery, meditation and contemplation with time and not like instant coffee.

2) Humility: the trees shed their leaves every autumn only to gain their supremacy back in spring, every fall has a rise, there is nothing that you cannot come back from, staying humble to your roots may not get you to the top quickly but it will when the time is right.

3) There is peace in chaos: reconnect with nature through your five senses and you will realize its contradictions it's simple and complicated, orderly and messy, quiet and busy. And once you can associate with this, you harness an internal force that helps you achieve peace in the midst of chaos. This happens when you realize your world is bigger than just your problems.

Watching the darkness of the night transform into light injects a burst of hope to get up every morning. We tend to limit our lives with fear, anger, ill health basically self imposed barriers. The leaf transforms the invisible energy of the sun to nourish itself; you can use this invisible energy to turn around your life as well.



 

Blood and Chocolate

"Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig."
— Paul Dickson


If you don’t know where you’re going any road will take you there. That’s the attitude most of us will take in our lives. In this day and age it’s hard to differentiate between shit and the good stuff. Most of you will live your life on daddy’s money, get married with his money and get a job either with his contacts or the money he invested in your education. You will never be able to develop a spine that will cripple you and generations after you …this is called slave mentality.

I saw this man today, who was stupid really... he lay down in a bed, in a room with no electricity. His clothes drenched with sweat, his body lifeless surrounded with an aura of death and depression. Stupid man had an Rs.1200 wallet with just Rs.300 in it. An empty bottle of water and skittles. A person in such a position should be humble in prayer and not in the arrogance of a God. In that moment of despair his head was high, his eyes was that of a man drugged and tubes jutted out of him like Frankenstein part 2, yet his grip in the handshake was empowering. The fight continues, day 2 of deficiencies…

A dead atheist is someone who is all dressed up with no place to go.
James Duffecy

Expectations

To work without attachment is to work without the expectation of reward or fear of any punishment in this world or the next. Work so done is a means to the end, and God is the end.
~ Ramakrishna

On the eve of another new year, I haven’t any long list of resolutions but just the quest of peace. Peace is this one elusive feeling in my life; most people confuse happiness with peace. Some philosophers say that happiness is nothing but an interval between two sorrows; other respected bloggers call the instance between happiness and unhappiness a period of indifference. I agree with both, but there is only a limit to how much a person can take. Some people find happiness in the smaller things in life, im well quite the opposite, that tempting stage of self-actualization is so far away.

I think what kills a person is expectation... from life, from people, from God. What you need to understand is that it’s God and not the tooth fairy. Never confuse your duty as the same thing as what people expect of you, duty is what you owe to yourself, expectations well that’s just your fear of rejection. An important skill to possess in life is the power to say no, in my past relationships I believe the only mistake I made, and I did make very few was not to prioritize. Saying no becomes as important as saying yes, Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you.

It is today that I want to decide the people to have in my life and the people to let go, sometimes keeping someone is tougher then letting go. It’s you who decides no one else. Our choices are not between right or wrong, good or evil, we selfish beings choose between pain and pleasure, damned is the person who chooses pleasure all the time, but worse is the person who resorts to pain for pleasure. Sometimes, love is not what brings you happiness...may this coming year rid you of all mental ailments

Rebounding to Re-bonding

I written on mistakes on quite a few occasions and yes you must have realized that I am a pessimist. But in life at times you make decisions that cost you more than you bargained for. Mistakes have this way of embedding themselves in your conscious where nothing seems the same after. Everybody makes mistakes in relationships, but the worst kind is mistakes in friendships. You may think that certain friendships should last a lifetime but they end prematurely with pain and solitude to contend with.

Back to the title, I’ve seen and been in relationships which usually occur after a breakup. Well what can I say, it’s like intercourse, fun initially but if not careful… Ask the woman. I’ve learnt to distance myself from things and being just an onlooker it’s really fun at times. You see other people playing the same game you invented and played quite successfully and then you see the same people falling for it. To add to that you see your so called friends to pretending to care, when the boat their sailing in isn’t the most stable one. I maybe wrong in assuming all this but then again even a stopped clock is right twice a day. It’s always assumed that others mistakes should be a learning opportunities for us but some mistakes by others get you off the hook, I like that kind. If one seeks advice, give them direction, not correction and that’s what I did, destiny is what you make of it. The sad part is when smart people make stupid decisions, senses deceive us from time to time, and in time you should learn not to trust them.

Falling in love to fill in a void, may not last a long time. If its purpose is to fulfill the desire of power over someone then it’s wretched from its inception. The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. And we go through trying to prove love, but that which needs to be proved cannot be worth much, don’t you think? my point, well is simply to tell you sure, love screws everything up. Most stalkers think they’re in love. Mothers who kill their kids talk about how much they love them. Men who beat up their wives, it’s only because they’re so in love. People slowly suffocate each other with love all the time. Love is a weapon we use to hurt the ones we love. I’ll end with this advice Pray for what you want, but work for the things you need.

A true lover is proved such by his pain of heart;
No sickness is there like sickness of heart.

Valentine’s Day

The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you.

It’s by far one of the most amazing days of the year, makes me respect capitalism even more every year. To be honest its one uniting factor all over the world. I mean you have to have both good and bad valentines’ days to understand what I’m talking about. The rush of emotions, the helplessness, the pain, the happiness, the love and the hate all rushing through your veins at the same time, you think drugs and alcohol get you high, emotions like these is all you need.

Let me talk about my stupidity first; as a person even though I’ve made tons of mistakes, I’m still a nice guy, friends no matter how good I've always given priority, I helped this friend in the past few weeks so much so that I didn’t have time to help my own blood, my family that I treasure to death. I’m not the kind to help someone and publicize but these friends that you help conveniently use you and discard you. I used to ridicule another two friends for being constantly subjected to such behavior but today I’m the victim and I feel mighty stupid. Birthdays, outings and hangouts you’re not considered, yes when we need help best friends, these people think that they are getting ahead in life based on qualifications and grades that’s the saddest and most shallow aspect of their lives.

Let’s talk about the few lucky people that you actually love; they tend to display pure unconditional ungratefulness. They would not appreciate what you do for them on top of that ridicule you and flock towards those people that merely use them. I’ll be community specific and say that isn’t it sad that your life depends on how many people you know from your community and how many parties you get invited to. I feel for my people, there is so much to do out there why restrict oneself. You go about life saying you need money; but every week you’ll spend shit loads on gifts, I mean people judge you by the gifts you give after all. In theory you can never be wrong since you if you have people to back you up, doesn’t matter if those people use you, it’s just that your now use to living on their charity. Your desperate for recognition, but true recognition is when you set targets and meet them; self actualization should be your aim. You think just because you pray once a week your ticket to heaven is booked?

I think it’s high time that a move is made towards a better life, we suffer day in and day out without anyone to care, and the people we worry ourselves sick about are care free and having fun. They say they loved you but they never did, they are slaves of their own mind, they are the hypocrites but they won’t admit it, they think they are cool, but unfortunately they are naïve idiots living the life of an actor, following a script , only difference this is real life it’s not going to be a happy ending…

The Past

God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches you by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly - not one.

The worst part about people is that they will pick on the very people that are willing to help them with get through their problems. I mean common you may think you’re smart but you’re not. That was just a little about the present getting back to the topic in hand. How easy it is to sit in the comfort of your house, divulging all your personal thoughts on a handy word processor, typing away how things were and how they should be, how miserable you feel and how life seems bleak for you. Moving on is overrated don’t you think? I mean you have the best to eat, wear, entertainment and most of all you have a zillion shoulders to cry on, and you’re still sad? I mean please, for one moment think about the other person who has this gloomy look on his face yearning for a moment of peace, finding a path of enlightenment but falling short every time in absolute darkness.

I’d like to pay tribute to the recent moving on ventures experienced. Firstly the cake designers, nice as she was, and as bad as I was, She gave me the key to moving on, friends with the enemy wow, the Dcruz always wins.. Always. Now the next, sweet flower I devoured “the accountant”, I was so guilty, that I stuck by her to get her through turbulent times, what I got in return was aggressive plotting and pain for months, she was good really good, great plotter with a politicians mind to screw me over. The last but my no means the least, someone I wish I had to never let go of, I know she may feel I never understood her but truth is she never understood me. I had valid reasons for everything I did; I only didn’t have anyone to validate my story.

So if we are so bent on moving on doesn’t that mean you never loved truly in the first place? Think of a person who is madly in love and is fighting day in and day out to get to that person that they want to spend their life with, that’s hard, that’s what will kill a person. For all those out there disappointed in love. Don’t revolve your life around moving on, trying keeping your mind open to the possibility of love, I love you all for the contributions made in my life, I’ve learnt from every experience. What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

Lessons / Public Service Announcement

Buddha said, "It doesn't matter how long you forget, only how soon you remember!"

Well another year full of regrets should be ending now, or so you would think. I should be making resolutions to keep myself away from all the drama and nuisances which send me into a psychological whirlwind, but I won’t. I’ve come to accept all of my flaws as an integral part of me. I’d like to call it “The Persuasion of Roydon D’mello”, if you have had the opportunity to experience this order of life consider yourself truly blessed.

Well the world has, people like them and people like I. I make one mistake and I think I have to pay for it for the rest of my life and other kind just need to have one convincing conversation for everyone to get on their side. Love, money, lust is what makes the world go round I tell you. I’m proud of each and every mistake I made, why ?!! Well at least I made them in sound mind (in essence) and take full responsibility and not just blame it on booze or any other recreational drugs to speak of. I was young once, I thought smoking helped release your tension, and we all know how stupid that is. If a Rs. 100 pack of cigarette could solve problems Mother Theresa would just hand out packs instead of doing all that she did.

These people should join politics, I mean not because they are going to do wonders for this country (that ship has sailed a while ago) but because they fit the profile. Firstly, no matter what they do how they act they still are popular, with loyal subjects advocating their innocence with great zeal, does not matter how much they drink, or how many people they want to beat up and lastly they least important they education level. The general rule is that one bad apple spoils the lot, in our society the lot was born spoilt; the good apples well need to be saved. How that’s going to be done, I have no idea. Its starts with one cigarette and one drink and goes on to spoil families. I may come across as a man with a lot of hatred, but I seriously love mankind, actually more womankind but that’s an issue I’ll discuss some other time. My advice for the people who indulge in such activities and for the people who support them RECYCLE!!!!! I’m not your MOM so do whatever you want but keep the city CLEAN. :) :) :) :)

Morality

There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing,there is a field. I'll meet you there.

The sad thing about life is you are always at the receiving end when you try to do well. I mean seriously, just because someone is nice to you, doesn’t mean u have to push it to the limits. I mean am I obligated to take the moral path every time? Or am I the only person on the face of this earth that makes mistakes. To be honest morality is over rated our emotions are in charge of the much hyped temple of morality and moral reasoning is a mere servant masquerading as a high priest. Reason has absolutely no role to play in our moral behavior, Evolution does that.

So what we do what we say is a manifestation of ourself. I hope to explore not only myself but an attempt as futile as it may be try to make “you” understand what I am all about. The first part would be “The Regretful Self” this is usually followed by the Commanding self. Initially I was unaware and unconscious, as the light of faith grew, insight dawns for the first time, the negative tendency of habitually self-centered approach to the world and everyone is apparent to the regretful self. At this level, wants and desires still dominate, but now the person repents from time to time and tries to follow higher impulses. I think there is a battle between me and my soul, it will continue and I don’t know who will educate whom, who will become the master. Will I be the person who accepts truth or deny it?

I apologized more than once, I convinced you. I never left u naked out in the rain, I gave you protection and care whenever you asked me. What I did was definitely wrong, but I had valid reasons if I don’t like something I let go. I should have spoken to you about my problems? I don’t do that. You can’t force me, nor can you accept your mistake, so again this is a dead end. I wasn’t doing anyone a favor, I was just satisfying my needs to make up for what I did. I may have left you, but look again I am still there. A sad end, but an end nonetheless, you mistake you’ve crucified yourself between two thieves like me- regrets for the past and fear of the future. Now You are Stranded.