Devachan

Some days are better than others, yesterday was pathetic. It’s easy when the trigger is someone else, you can play the blame game, but when the problem is internal it’s hard to ignore, for someone who meticulously plans out his day, week and till the end of times, such a situation just magnifies the OCD compulsions, which sends you reeling down a circular path of destruction.  I don’t really write self help blogs, and this one isn’t the run-of-the-mill self help blog, but I use the following points to judge how far I’ve progressed on the path of destruction.  

(This blog is inspired by an article by Rachel Gillet http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/247295)

1. Time Management :  I think I have this down apart from the crippling feeling of  not being able to do things.
2. Empathy: I can pretend, but im not sure if I will ever be able to do it genuinely.
3. Mastering your sleep: 8 hours enough said
4. Positive Self Talk: I hate it but I try
5. Consistency: where there is OCD, there is consistency
6. Asking for help: I will eventually ask after all is lost
7. Knowing when to shut up and actually doing it: this is something I need to learn
8. Listening : what did you say ?
9. Minding your own business: helps to filter the most important things in life. I bet everyone has their own set of problems, if you don’t, get in touch with me
10. Mastering your thoughts: one step at a time. 

Life is never as simple as listing ideas as pointers,  and I quote Limp Bizkit here “ life’s a lesson, you learn it when your through.”

The Psychology of Stupid

Relationships are volatile if they aren’t you will probably get bored. I’ve seen couples that fight a great deal, but are still together and makes you think why this stupidity. But the rush of the drama sometimes is overwhelming. Nevertheless when the end does come, people find it hard to accept.  Why am I still so upset? They wonder, almost punishing themselves. Why does the sound of their name still make my pulse quicken? Why would we still take them back in a second? They feel pitiful and hopeless.

A popular research at Berkley shows that your brain in love is the same as your brain wired for a reward. Therefore after the breakup there is no reward in this case I believe is the interaction with an ex. And when you don’t get this drug we call “love” you tend to experience some painful withdrawal. The extent will, however depend on certain factors suggested by Elly Prior, The length of the relationship, how recently you split up, how “intense” or even “obsessive” the relationship was, how important it was to you and how it ended.

The age of technology doesn’t make it easier, you’re always connected on whatsapp, and you read a status directed at you or maybe someone likes a picture of a trip you almost forgot about. I’d suggest Zuckerberg to create an algorithm to cater to breakups. Be prepared for the unusual attacks, you will never know when they will come, maybe a character in a book shares the name as their sibling, you wearing the shirt they gave you and you realize that half way through lunch.  Boom: Sadness Arrives or psychosis in my case.

The first step however, is not to be stupid, one of the harsh realities of life is that you may have to become selfish to care about your family and loved ones, end of the day nothing wrong with that. Also the sooner you accept money isn’t everything, life tends to balance out (even if it’s some land on your name). Confining yourself indoors only makes things worse, time to have some fun. One thing that has helped me personally is meditation and doesn’t have to be the conventional monk style but find a method that’s works, collect your thoughts and understand what is important. Love however, is just a chemical imbalance that makes you do stupid things. There is a pill for everything

Intukuthelo

I think one of the keys to success is learning the art to disengage when things aren’t going your way. Sometimes just keeping up with things gets a little tough, the flow of life isn’t what you expect it to be and nor will people adjust to your requirements. I think taking a break, slowing down things helps put things in perspective. As humans we usually fail to prioritize or what we think is a priority usually isn’t. In which case being flexible plays a key role in getting things done. Disengaging doesn’t always mean you’re sad or angry, but maybe you just need some time to recharge


We live in a country where questioning norms could mean losing your life. Where you live in constant fear, and where fear is a commonly felt emotion. There will be times when you feel cornered, personally and professionally, sometime you will fight sometimes you will run away, it’s important to choose your battles. There are times where even something as small as lack of sleep and steer outcomes in a different direction but then again in such situations you find the true nature of a person.

In the words of Rumi:

When you see the face of anger
look behind it
and you will see the face of pride.
Bring anger and pride
under your feet, turn them into a ladder
and climb higher.
There is no peace until you become
their master.
Let go of anger, it may taste sweet
but it kills.
Don't become its victim.
You need humility to climb to freedom.

Doodh Jalebi

It’s sad that I only write in the midst of extreme emotions. As I lay here wondering about the pain I’ve felt and pain yet to come, makes me realize all that I have so much to do and so very little time. I was, like most people wasting my time on facebook (on 14th August) and saw a lot of privileged people showing tones of emotion about Independence Day. Most of the youth that had their own mode of transport were present at a record breaking event of most people singing the national anthem at one time in Defense, not Lyari not at Katti Pahari. The lives lost (Jafferabad hotel 14 dead) in the violence in the country on the day took a back seat being just a new ticker on a few channels (like filler). The youth so excited about our independence were more worried about “do I have a green shirt/kurta to wear. “

The political situation is probably going to inspire Ekta Kapoor for another of her 1000 episode master pieces. We cry for democracy but we let people like Altaf Hussain dictate our daily lives. Is democracy really the best revenge? It’s because of Democracy that Benazir’s, Shahbaz Bhatti and Asia bibi’s killers are enjoying the fruits of National Treasury, when an MQM member dies in London we in Pakistan Morn with a dry day (that obviously doesn’t hurt the economy). It’s definitely wrong what Musharaf, Ayub, Yahya and Iskandar Mirza did, but no problems with handing over the city to the Army just because some drunk in London says so. Our youth is going to change the future? Really, in midst of the London events all the youth could do is come up with insensitive jokes? And attending Dharna is the cool thing to do these days right? Zardari failed, Sharif looks weird with the Hair Transplant, Benazir dead, Jamat-e-Islami would make me keep a beard, let’s just support the charitable cricketer who was a playboy in the Past.

Then the newest fad in the past 24 hours is sharing the Amir Liaqat video. Someone in Denmark Draws a cartoon, we’ll burn our own stores, get on the roads, boycott foreign goods as if not selling to Pakistan will dent any country’s GDP, Amir Liaqat gets his PhD in 20 days, becomes Minister of Religious Affairs and Respected TV host is still airing video’s (rebuttal accusing GEO) , while some crazy priest decides to burn a book and a village in Gojra is wiped out. Anybody can claim to be a doctor (my hirelabs friends would agree) today, or even a golfer for that matter.

It’s easy to update your status on facebook, start using twitter and beg someone for a Google+ invite. Doing the real thing is a wee bit difficult. Your thinking who is he to judge us? He’s just a blogger and pessimist. I would in reply, grace you with a few words used by Amir Liaqat and say, work towards removing the Blasphemy Law, which has led to a disrespectful demise of many of my people. REMOVE IT so that I can live with the peace of mind that I won’t be abused by its misuse. Blame it on America and the Jews, but stay alive on their Aid, the youth asks America to send troops to London (new copy paste status fad) Why? ‘Cause UK takes that much Aid don’t they? Maybe the outburst against London was due to pathetic results in your O and A ‘levels, sadly that’s not on their agenda to fail you, should have studied harder. A whore is paid to fulfill ones fantasy, America pays, to make you understand reality.