Devachan

Some days are better than others, yesterday was pathetic. It’s easy when the trigger is someone else, you can play the blame game, but when the problem is internal it’s hard to ignore, for someone who meticulously plans out his day, week and till the end of times, such a situation just magnifies the OCD compulsions, which sends you reeling down a circular path of destruction.  I don’t really write self help blogs, and this one isn’t the run-of-the-mill self help blog, but I use the following points to judge how far I’ve progressed on the path of destruction.  

(This blog is inspired by an article by Rachel Gillet http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/247295)

1. Time Management :  I think I have this down apart from the crippling feeling of  not being able to do things.
2. Empathy: I can pretend, but im not sure if I will ever be able to do it genuinely.
3. Mastering your sleep: 8 hours enough said
4. Positive Self Talk: I hate it but I try
5. Consistency: where there is OCD, there is consistency
6. Asking for help: I will eventually ask after all is lost
7. Knowing when to shut up and actually doing it: this is something I need to learn
8. Listening : what did you say ?
9. Minding your own business: helps to filter the most important things in life. I bet everyone has their own set of problems, if you don’t, get in touch with me
10. Mastering your thoughts: one step at a time. 

Life is never as simple as listing ideas as pointers,  and I quote Limp Bizkit here “ life’s a lesson, you learn it when your through.”

Anvil Crawler

There is a storm brewing inside my head, and there is no place where I can hide. The serenity I found in my solitude, the comfort I found in my thoughts is no more there.  The inability to hold a thought and reach a destination, the plethora of emotions all experienced in a single moment. Seconds feel like hours and minutes like destiny, the voices are getting louder, and fiercer. The anguish is changing to fear, all my love is now brimming with animosity.  

Finding solutions use to be my thing, planning use to be my forte, everything has changed with the blink of an eye, the value you once had for yourself is no longer there. It feels like the “Watch” has stopped but feels like time is still running out.   

The answers are buried deep within the darkness of my thoughts…

The Psychology of Stupid

Relationships are volatile if they aren’t you will probably get bored. I’ve seen couples that fight a great deal, but are still together and makes you think why this stupidity. But the rush of the drama sometimes is overwhelming. Nevertheless when the end does come, people find it hard to accept.  Why am I still so upset? They wonder, almost punishing themselves. Why does the sound of their name still make my pulse quicken? Why would we still take them back in a second? They feel pitiful and hopeless.

A popular research at Berkley shows that your brain in love is the same as your brain wired for a reward. Therefore after the breakup there is no reward in this case I believe is the interaction with an ex. And when you don’t get this drug we call “love” you tend to experience some painful withdrawal. The extent will, however depend on certain factors suggested by Elly Prior, The length of the relationship, how recently you split up, how “intense” or even “obsessive” the relationship was, how important it was to you and how it ended.

The age of technology doesn’t make it easier, you’re always connected on whatsapp, and you read a status directed at you or maybe someone likes a picture of a trip you almost forgot about. I’d suggest Zuckerberg to create an algorithm to cater to breakups. Be prepared for the unusual attacks, you will never know when they will come, maybe a character in a book shares the name as their sibling, you wearing the shirt they gave you and you realize that half way through lunch.  Boom: Sadness Arrives or psychosis in my case.

The first step however, is not to be stupid, one of the harsh realities of life is that you may have to become selfish to care about your family and loved ones, end of the day nothing wrong with that. Also the sooner you accept money isn’t everything, life tends to balance out (even if it’s some land on your name). Confining yourself indoors only makes things worse, time to have some fun. One thing that has helped me personally is meditation and doesn’t have to be the conventional monk style but find a method that’s works, collect your thoughts and understand what is important. Love however, is just a chemical imbalance that makes you do stupid things. There is a pill for everything

Biocenosis

We usually tend to look for big signs; we expect the mystery of life to be communicated in grandeur. And it’s because of this expectation we miss out the subtle signs which describe the magnificence yet simplicity of the gifts life has to offer.


1) Timing: the seasons teach us that there is a time for everything, what goes around, comes around, it teaches us patients. The good things in life come from self discovery, meditation and contemplation with time and not like instant coffee.

2) Humility: the trees shed their leaves every autumn only to gain their supremacy back in spring, every fall has a rise, there is nothing that you cannot come back from, staying humble to your roots may not get you to the top quickly but it will when the time is right.

3) There is peace in chaos: reconnect with nature through your five senses and you will realize its contradictions it's simple and complicated, orderly and messy, quiet and busy. And once you can associate with this, you harness an internal force that helps you achieve peace in the midst of chaos. This happens when you realize your world is bigger than just your problems.

Watching the darkness of the night transform into light injects a burst of hope to get up every morning. We tend to limit our lives with fear, anger, ill health basically self imposed barriers. The leaf transforms the invisible energy of the sun to nourish itself; you can use this invisible energy to turn around your life as well.